Jesh quotes, February through April

Jesh: “I know Aly, let’s pretend my animal is dead and we fix him with Heavenly Father!!!”

Jesh crashes the animal (an alligator xylophone) into the wall.

Jesh: "Now we need to take him to Heavenly Father. Mom! You be Heavenly Father."

Uhhh... So I explained that we can't take him to Heavenly Father because Heavenly Father is in heaven. But we can take him to someone who holds the priesthood, which is the power to do what Heavenly Father wants us to do.

Jesh: "OK, Mom. You be Dad. Give him a blessing."

So I talk them through a blessing, feeling like I am close to blasphemy the whole time.

Me: "...amen."

Jesh: "Hmm. Well, Mom. It didn't work. I am going to take him to heaven. Now you be Heavenly Father."

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The kids were almost finished with their pasta, so I started peeling a banana. Jesh looks up and says, "Mom, is that banana seriously for me?"

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J: Mom, I want to help you make the orange pulp bread!

L: OK. Then please get the egg beaters out.

J: I'm too busy.

L: What are you doing?

J: I am playing with the pulp?

L: Well, if you are going to help me, you need to do something helpful.

J: I want to help!

L: Great. Then get the egg beaters out.

J: Well, I am helping with the part when you play with it.

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I gave Jesh a goodnight kiss on his cheek that was a little sideways, and he said, “Mom, I need another kiss. That was a light blue one.”

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Me: This weekend I am going to Costco.

Jesh: Oh, Mom! And will you buy Cheerios?!? Because Cheerios is your kids's favorite and it will make us so happy!

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Walking out the front door:

Me: Come on, little peoples!

Jesh: Little peoples? But I'm a big man!

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Jesh's bedtime prayer: "Please bless Darcy to feel better. And please bless my antibodies to pew my germs."